Monday, September 15, 2014

#730 - 09.14.14

Virtual Reality boobie squeezing
Japanese invent a new way of sleazing
Tit simulator
Cock stimulator
Creepy virgins rejoice!  You'll fine it pleasing

'Boobie Squeezing Simulator' Takes Virtual Reality To New Lows

The Huffington Post - Sep. 14, 2014

Saturday, September 13, 2014

#729 - 09.13.14

The Palin Family got into a brawl
A big drunken fist fight - thrown punches by all
"Don't you know who I am?"
Sarah shrieked with a Wham!
Yes we do Sarah, but we don't give a damn!

Palin Family in 'drunken brawl'

New York Post - Sep. 12, 2014

Friday, September 12, 2014

#728 - 09.12.14

The kid was just trying to come to Jesus
But his fake statue sex just did not please-us
Religious freaks
Horrified squeaks
But Jesus the one who was on his knees-us!

Teen May Get 2 Years For Pic Of Fake Oral Sex With Jesus

The Huffington Post - Sep. 11, 2014

Thursday, September 11, 2014

#727 - 09.11.14

The crushed up Pop-Tart was his big fumble
He said it was crack - check out that crumble
Undercover Cop
No like-ey that slop
Had he sold real shit - Cop would not grumble!

Man tries to pass of Pop-Tart as cocaine to undercover cop

WPIX - Sep. 9, 2014

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

#726 - 09.10.14

A colleague did steal his meatball for lunch
A stabbable crime to snag his meat munch
That meatball is mine!
It's saucy and fine
Touch a dude's meatballs and you get a punch!

Man Stabs Co-Worker Over ... Meatballs

Newser - Sep. 8, 2014

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

#725 - 09.09.14

There's a new jersey for Ray Rice to wear
When wearing it, he can punch without care
A white wife beater
He'll look so neat-er
He's not a man 'cuz he ain't got a pair!

Ray Rice Fired By Ravens, Suspended By NFL

NPR - Sep. 8, 2014

The Daily Limerick: Volume 1 - Buy on Amazon

Monday, September 8, 2014

#724 - 09.08.14

Down his car 'vator, Mittens did ride
Dog strapped to the car, off he did glide
Told Fox he is done
He ain't gonna run
Just won't be as fun, I must confide!

Romney on 2016: 'I'm Not Planning on Running'

The Wall Street Journal - Sep. 7, 2014

The Daily Limerick: Volume 1 - Buy on Amazon